POST-IT NOTE SIX: Engagement parties. Prime Importance or Necessary Luxury? Discuss.

Hello everyone. We apologize for the delayed Post-It Note. Should we apologize? Is anyone reading this? We've had many wedding related issues to tend to.

So, engagement parties. This is a fairly new trend among the newly engaged. Do you have to have one? No. Would you like to have one? You mean, an opportunity prior to the wedding to get everyone together to celebrate you and your HFH (Handsome Future Husband)? Yes.

The thing is, that guilt will soon be a part of your engagement period. Guilt you ask? Well with parents (and likely you) forking out tons of money for one day of your life, you'll probably start to feel like you're asking a lot of everyone already. S2 had sweaty armpits as a result. S1 isn't a sweat-er. Sorry, we're off topic. Let's face it, it's always fun to have a party thrown in your honor but how many wedding-related parties are you supposed to/obliged to have? An engagement party, a bridal shower, a bachelor party, a bachelorette party, maybe a stag and doe...the list goes on as the bank account dwindles. But don't worry. We've established a way for you to feel ok about an engagement party. All your friends will have them and it all evens out in the end! Ok, so your friends bought you a BBQ as an engagement gift, fear not! You'll get a toaster in return! See? It allllll evens out.

Traditionally, the bride's parents throw the engagement party but these days anything goes. Hosts can throw anything from a casual brunch to a backyard mexican fiesta/pool party...Ole.
In fact, because your wedding will likely have more traditional elements to it, this is a chance to relax and bask in the glow of your new, shiny diamond. Just having the people closest to you will make this a memorable event. It's a great way to kick off the planning process and introduce the family members to the wedding party and other relevant guests.

If you want our opinion, we think engagement parties are a great ice-breaker and a super way to get excited for the big day. If you're still feeling uncomfortable about people giving you a gift on top of the ones they'll likely be giving you for the shower and/or wedding, consider asking people to refrain from gift giving. Ex: A friend of S1's asked guests in lieu of a gift to bring a bottle of wine for the party...They wound up with 60 bottles so naturally it was a good time!

Ok, as you know, we at The Nuptial Notebook like to discuss potentially awkward topics. What if you want an engagement party but can't afford to throw one for yourselves and no one has mentioned it yet? Um, well....AWKWARD. Our little piece of advice to you, is to sit tight and just wait and see. If no one has thrown you one and broached the subject 6-9 months from the big day, you're probably on your own. Why not opt for a small potluck dinner, backyard BBQ, wine and cheese party...like we said anything goes and you don't have to spend a lot to have a great time. Another cost saver is limiting the guest list to immediate family and the wedding party. Afterall, what matters most will be the people in attendance...and meeting Auntie Joan at last. "You're right babe, she really can throw down quite a few bottles of Labatt 50..."

The engagement party should be the last thing for you to worry about. Even if you are organizing it, keep it simple. The big day should be the main event. And trust us, the issues that will arise with that will be enough. Just a friendly reminder, wedding acne is a real thing. Who ever heard of engagement acne?