POST-IT NOTE SEVEN: Wedding Invitation Update - Is it Still the Bane of S1's Existence?

Hello friends!
Good news, the invitations are signed, sealed and about to be delivered. Which option did we choose? The Anna Griffin Purple DIY's! It was Anna all along. She touched S1 right from the beginning and it just felt right.

2 sets of Anna Griffin DIY invitations- $124.72
Postage for 55 invitations- $86.35
Hours spent printing, labelling, formatting, licking and swearing- 9.75
Realizing that you forgot to put the stamp on the reply card envelope after you've mailed them? PRICELESS.

Here's the thing, the place cards don't have to match the invitations. And the menu cards don't have to match the programs. Bottom line, nothing has to match. S1 has had this epiphany after her own invitation debacle as well as witnessing a near breakdown of a future guest blogger...

So now that the invitations had been picked, the deadline to determine who was actually going to be receiving an invitation crept up. After you get engaged, you inevitably will draw up a mock list to get an idea of numbers. This will change a million times as will your relationships with the people on the list (especially if you're engaged for 20 months or more). So you've been friends with a certain someone let's call him "Alex" for several years. You've partied, gone to school together and maybe enjoyed the occasional decaffeinated beverage and you would like Alex to attend your wedding. But Alex has a girlfriend. They live together. You've never met her. Crap. The ol' Plus One debate.

This boils down to budget. If you have room in the budget to include Alex's Plus One than why not. The more, the merrier. BUT, if you're on a space or money crunch, Alex's Plus One will probably get the shaft. Is this wrong?

We at The Nuptial Notebook are taking the stance that it would be incredibly awkward to meet someone for the first time at your wedding.

Possible Receiving Line Conversation:
Alex's Plus One- "Hi. Nice to meet you for the first time. Congratulations, I'm Alexandra."
You- "Hi. Nice to meet you for the first time. Thanks for coming, I'm the bride".
Uh oh. There's a backlog with your new husband chatting up Alex...move it along honey, we're just staring at each other now...crap.

See? Awkward much?

That all being said, there are some exceptions. Long distance friends and/or family should always have the option to bring a date, especially if they've been together awhile or live together etc. Obviously, you're 13 year old cousin can go the night without the cute boy from math class.

Another possible issue that will arise are the late additions to the list. You probably didn't think that it would be a big deal to leave them off the list because when you initially did the list you were trying to keep numbers down. Upon reflection, you've likely realized that you don't want to leave them out or you just really want them there. This becomes tough if you just don't have the space in the venue. You could always go the A list, B list route and wait to see who is coming and who isn't but that gets tricky. You don't want to offend people. We would suggest doing what's right for you as a couple and ultimately, what you feel better doing. If it's going to keep you up at night, send the invitation. No one likes a cranky, sleep deprived bride. It'll all work out in the end.

OK, onto mailing logistics. Envelopes & postage. Do you know that sinking feeling of getting onto a scale and weighing yourself? That's how S1 felt about weighing her invitations. Sure, the pocket fold is pretty and nice but man, is it costly in postage. Invitations now a days can be elaborate, creative and beautiful but for every ribbon and direction card, be prepared to pay an extra postage fee. Hence the debate that ensued at S1's house;

Outer Envelope vs. Inner Envelope Debate.
S1- "Mom, we don't need to spend an extra $1/invitation on outer envelopes to put the inner envelope in."
S1's Mom- "But that's how it's done, S1! The invitation is mailed to someone in an outer envelope so that when they open the outer envelope they are presented with their invitation which is contained in the inner envelope"
S1- "I thought we were trying to cut costs here...this is also a waste of paper."
S1's Dad- "Listen to your mother."

Confused yet? So was S1, which is why she gave in. Ugh. And apparently, though she is almost a wife, she still gets in trouble from her dad.

Basically, invitations are no longer the bane of S1's existence but only because she mailed them yesterday and she doesn't have to think about it anymore. Let's re-visit this crazy topic when S2 has to go through this in 7 months shall we?

Michelle & Simon's Summer Wedding!

Look at these lovelies from Photohouse Montreal. This wedding took place in Rosemere & at the Club de Golf Fontainebleau in Blainville.

Check back for some more details on Michelle & Simon's wedding!

Engagement Party Table & Theme Ideas, Woo hoo!

Hi Everyone! Sorry we're late on this post! We have lots of great stuff comin' to you guys so keep checking back for more ideas, Pencil Case additions and Post-It Notes!

In the meantime, check out some awesome table settings we came across that would be a great compliment to your engagement party!

This setting from Pottery Barn would be a great way to set up for that Mexican Fiesta themed Pool Party, Ole! Galvanized steel is always found at the dollar store, garage sales and again our fav, Finnegan's Market.

This table is cute for a Sunday brunch, maybe replace some of the flowers with baked goods :) Check out places like Ikea or Pier 1 to find glass displays like the ones above from Pottery Barn.

We love these drink dispensers (also from Pottery Barn). They would be great at the bar for an extra decorative detail. We recommend filling them with ice and sliced cucumbers! Tried, tested and true it is soooo refreshing! You could likely find these babies on Ebay or in your local Canadian Tire (click on the link for the exact model/price).

Keep in mind that part of looking at tons of online wedding related sites is to get ideas and then attempt to replicate them with local merchandise and/or cheaper alternatives. Always check sites like Ebay, Kijiji or Craigslist for stuff like this. It'll be cheaper than paying full retail price and chances are some brides are looking to make a little money back after their own weddings ;)

POST-IT NOTE SIX: Engagement parties. Prime Importance or Necessary Luxury? Discuss.

Hello everyone. We apologize for the delayed Post-It Note. Should we apologize? Is anyone reading this? We've had many wedding related issues to tend to.

So, engagement parties. This is a fairly new trend among the newly engaged. Do you have to have one? No. Would you like to have one? You mean, an opportunity prior to the wedding to get everyone together to celebrate you and your HFH (Handsome Future Husband)? Yes.

The thing is, that guilt will soon be a part of your engagement period. Guilt you ask? Well with parents (and likely you) forking out tons of money for one day of your life, you'll probably start to feel like you're asking a lot of everyone already. S2 had sweaty armpits as a result. S1 isn't a sweat-er. Sorry, we're off topic. Let's face it, it's always fun to have a party thrown in your honor but how many wedding-related parties are you supposed to/obliged to have? An engagement party, a bridal shower, a bachelor party, a bachelorette party, maybe a stag and doe...the list goes on as the bank account dwindles. But don't worry. We've established a way for you to feel ok about an engagement party. All your friends will have them and it all evens out in the end! Ok, so your friends bought you a BBQ as an engagement gift, fear not! You'll get a toaster in return! See? It allllll evens out.

Traditionally, the bride's parents throw the engagement party but these days anything goes. Hosts can throw anything from a casual brunch to a backyard mexican fiesta/pool party...Ole.
In fact, because your wedding will likely have more traditional elements to it, this is a chance to relax and bask in the glow of your new, shiny diamond. Just having the people closest to you will make this a memorable event. It's a great way to kick off the planning process and introduce the family members to the wedding party and other relevant guests.

If you want our opinion, we think engagement parties are a great ice-breaker and a super way to get excited for the big day. If you're still feeling uncomfortable about people giving you a gift on top of the ones they'll likely be giving you for the shower and/or wedding, consider asking people to refrain from gift giving. Ex: A friend of S1's asked guests in lieu of a gift to bring a bottle of wine for the party...They wound up with 60 bottles so naturally it was a good time!

Ok, as you know, we at The Nuptial Notebook like to discuss potentially awkward topics. What if you want an engagement party but can't afford to throw one for yourselves and no one has mentioned it yet? Um, well....AWKWARD. Our little piece of advice to you, is to sit tight and just wait and see. If no one has thrown you one and broached the subject 6-9 months from the big day, you're probably on your own. Why not opt for a small potluck dinner, backyard BBQ, wine and cheese party...like we said anything goes and you don't have to spend a lot to have a great time. Another cost saver is limiting the guest list to immediate family and the wedding party. Afterall, what matters most will be the people in attendance...and meeting Auntie Joan at last. "You're right babe, she really can throw down quite a few bottles of Labatt 50..."

The engagement party should be the last thing for you to worry about. Even if you are organizing it, keep it simple. The big day should be the main event. And trust us, the issues that will arise with that will be enough. Just a friendly reminder, wedding acne is a real thing. Who ever heard of engagement acne?

Attention Vendors!

The Nuptial Notebook is officially accepting requests for advertising space. Please contact us at info@thenuptialnotebook.com for more information about the options!

Nice Jugs!

Check out these puppies. Vintage finds add a certain "je ne sais quoi" to a wedding....We found these jugs at Pottery Barn (among a million other awesome things- take a look at the lanterns). They can be used as centerpieces or as decorative additions. We know they are pricey but you can keep them for decoration afterwards. Also, look to flea markets like Finnegan's (more to come on that little gem in future posts) & garage sales for cheaper alternatives.

Pencil Case: The Wedding Dress Rating Cards

If you read our last Post-It Note, you would have come across a reference to the hit TLC show, "Say Yes to the Dress" - a favourite show of all future brides. This show was the inspiration for S2's easy yet fantastically fun DIY project: THE WEDDING DRESS RATING CARDS. Oh be prepared... the instructions are very complicated. There will be circle cutting and ribbon tying involved. You can do it! Scissors armed and ready?

Materials Required:

Bristol board

Popsicle sticks

Ribbon

Markers (We chose Mr. Sketch for two reasons. One, they are fun to smell. Two, they are fun to smell.)

Tape

Scissors

Circle stencil (a bottom of a glass will do just fine)

By jove we've got it! We have just figured out how to post a little written insert, then a picture, then a written insert...we are very excited. Ok, on to the project...

Step 1: Trace circles onto the bristol board. A medium size will be just right. Then cut out the circles.

Step 2: Write the numbers one through five onto the circles. You can be as decorative as you like. (Here is where the Mr. Sketch come in).

Step 3: Tape the popsicle sticks onto the back of the circles.

Step 4: Take a piece of ribbon and tie a bow around the popsicle stick.

Just a little side note, ensure you make enough rating card sets for the people attending the wedding dress try-on session.

Here is the final masterpiece:

These rating cards are a great way to make sure that everyone is included in the day. They also give everyone a say without actually having to say it.

Have fun creating!

POST-IT NOTE FIVE: Wedding Dress Shopping. Discuss.

Hello. Today's topic is wedding dress shopping. Easily the highlight of the planning process. Who watches "Say Yes to The Dress"? Basically, that is exactly what it's like. There's the over-opinionated aunt, the quiet and reserved sister (and in S1's case, the sister with Swine Flu), the emotional Mom, the ever loyal Maid of Honor, the "I love everything" bridesmaid and lastly but not least, the hater (maybe she hates the dresses but maybe...she just hates you). Whoa, wait a second, we're getting ahead of ourselves...let's take it nice and slow.

Step 1:
Start perusing bridal magazines, The Knot, and more importantly designers' websites (Jim Heljm, Pronovias, La Sposa, Watters, Amsale...among a gillion others. Let us know if you want more info). Get an idea of what you like and what you absolutely cannot see yourself in (for S2 this includes a strapless dress). Check out this nifty tool on the Kleinfeld Bridal website, http://www.kleinfeldbridal.com/index.cfm?pid=50&title=weddinggown.

Step2:
Start figuring out which stores carry the designer you like.
**NOTEBOOK NOTE**
Not all stores that carry a designer's line will have every style of dress so if you find a particular dress you like and the store doesn't have it, try to be conscience of what you like about it. Elements of the dress can be found in other styles or even other designers.

Step 3 (it's just you and meeee, sorry NKOTB reference):
Assemble your team. When S1 was trying to determine who to bring, she really just wanted a small group. With 3 sisters, 2 Maid of Honors, 1 Bridesmaid, 1 Mom and 1 Mother of the Groom and a partridge in a pear tree, this was not likely. They say small groups are better because you don't have to deal with too many opinions. However, you could also have a group like S1's where everyone was entirely respectful of the process and wanted to hear the bride's opinion before expressing their own. A helpful aspect to this is the consultant assigned to you that day. S1 went to Creations Vezina in Ste-Dorothee (a little off the beaten St Hubert path but totally worth it) and had a consultant (thanks Genevieve!) who knew how to handle the group and make it a great experience for all.
**NOTEBOOK NOTE**
Stay tuned for a post devoted to some of our favorite wedding dress shops!

Step 4:
Make your appointment. Ensure you're booking this on a day where you have nothing else to do, you're relaxed and you aren't rushed to get through it. Oh, and don't eat a huge meal before you go. You'll want to feel and look your best. Do your hair, put on some makeup (easy on the foundation), and even wear earrings or underwear that make you feel great.

Step 5:
Time to talk money. Set a budget with whoever is paying for the dress and be respectful of the limit. You might love Vera Wang but if Auntie Bess says you have $2,000 to spend, hello Pronovias. Don't eliminate the option of renting a dress or buying one second hand. Once Wed is a good resource for second hand dresses.

Things to Remember
-Expect to have to put down a deposit of at least $500.
-You could find the perfect dress after trying on 2 or 22 dresses. Don't be discouraged if nothing works the first time around.
-You will feel ownership over your dress. When you try it on, everything becomes a little more real and a lot more emotional. S1 was surprised at how constant the thoughts were of Mr. HFH during the process. No wonder we all cry! Bring Kleenex
-You might have a specific dress in mind but be open to all possibilities. The consultant will have a good opinion about what suits your body type so you might be surprised at what you end up choosing (ah hem, S2...strapless? Haha, we'll see).
-Take the opportunity to make a day of it. Go out for lunch with your "team". Trying on your wedding dress is an experience you will never forget and won't be able to really explain so soak it all in. Plus, in light of your 24 hour fast you'll be starving.

Good luck and remember, have fun!

Next Post-It Note: Engagement parties. Prime Importance or Unnecessary Luxury. Discuss.

Something Old

You may have noticed a similarity in the pictures above. You guessed it! There are three generations wearing the same veil. The story of this veil is very pretty indeed as Leonora (the bride in the fourth picture) had her dressmaker design her wedding dress to match her veil, not the other way around.

If you are looking for subtle ways to personalize your wedding, look to past generations for inspiration. Remember - you always need a "something old"!

Photos & story courtesy of Sheila Boardman of Photohouse Montreal.

POST-IT NOTE FOUR: DIY vs. Full Service Venues. Discuss.

FYI- Brace yourself for essential venue searching information. Grab a pen, and a notebook (you should have one by now anyway…maybe call it the Nuptial…Notebook ;)) and let’s get started.

Pros for Do-It-Yourself (DIY) Venues
-total control over chairs, tables, décor, linens, silverware, flatware, catering
-booze without the markup
-blank canvas on which to create your wedding masterpiece
-in most situations you have exclusive access to the venue (no weddings to compete with)
-total control over the budget (make it as cost effective as necessary or as elaborate as your bank account will allow)
-a “day-of coordinator” can be hired usually for around $500 (check out C3 Events)
-any place that will rent you the space can be considered a wedding venue (for some amazing examples check out these venues; Gallery Gora, Parisian Laundry, Pointe-a-Calliere Museum, Musee des Beaux Arts, Fonderie Darling, La Brasserie St-Ambroise, Musee d’Art Contemporain, Stewart Hall, Marche Bonsecour, Pierrefonds Cultural Centre and tons more to be found!)
-if you want flexibility, and the ability to be as creative and resourceful as you wish, this is your best bet!

Cons for the Do-It-Yourself Venues
- total control over chairs, tables, décor, linens, silverware, flatware, catering…if you are not a visionary or a good decision-maker (ah hem, S1), this can be very overwhelming
-if you are not planning on hiring a wedding planner, this is a lot of stress for the couple on their wedding day. Remember this is your day. Get your nails done, don’t worry about the cake flipping over in the delivery truck. Oh, and don’t think of putting this on your wedding party, they want to have fun too.
-An extra cost might be hiring a “day-of coordinator”
-possible time constraints (set up and take down times)
-in light of it being a blank canvas, more decoration is usually required (which means more money and more time and more stress… ever heard of Wedding Acne?)
-in addition to all the extras you’ll be organizing and paying for, don’t forget there is a rental fee involved (ranging usually from $1,000 to $5,000+)

Pros for Full Service Venues
-no need to spend 2 hours of your life picking out Chiavari chairs or linens as this has been chosen for you (and the hundreds of brides/grooms that have married there before you…see con list)
-anything your vendors would need should be there already
-the staff is accustomed to large events and shouldn’t impact the flow of the wedding
-some venues have tons of character and wouldn’t require as much décor
-they usually have menu options for every pallet and wallet.
-no need to stress about set up or take down
-they know how to estimate bar consumption and have the resources to organize how many bottles of alcohol you’ll need etc.
-most, if not all full service venues have a “day-of coordinator” on site and included in your wedding package.
-if you’re a no fuss, no muss kinda person, this is the option for you!

Cons for Full Service Venues
-no control over chairs, tables, décor, linens, silverware, flatware, catering
-the cost of the bar is at the venue’s discretion and can be pretty pricey
-usually you’ll have to work within their pre-established menu and there isn’t much room for alternatives
-full service venues don’t have the same unique and fresh appeal that a DIY could offer and you risk those much dreaded comparisons
-you might not be able to string up that row of paper lanterns you’ve been dreaming of. Full service venues, like restaurants, might take issue with tacking stuff up on the walls etc
-you might not be the only wedding at that venue so be prepared to share parking, hotel rooms, bathrooms and staff
-you’re stuck planning with whoever they assign as your coordinator and she/he might not share your “vision”

Next Post-It Note: Wedding Dress Shopping. Discuss.