POST-IT NOTE ONE: You got the ring! Now get ready to RUUUMMBBBLLLEEE! Ding ding.

So it's wonderful right? The faceless man you've seen in your dreams has asked you to spend the rest of your life with him. And you've probably cried, felt shaky, in some cases were so shocked that copious amounts of alcohol were consumed (No? Ok, just S1 then)....and when all of that wears off, you're left staring at the foreign object on your left hand and thinking, "so now what?". Ok, for some of you, you "never thought about getting married" or "weren't that type of girl". We say, untruth. You took a second look when you came across a bride on Facebook, you judged the bridesmaid dresses as you surveyed a dance floor...and if you say you didn't, well...your secret is safe with us.

When you first get engaged everyone tells you it's the greatest time in your life. Sure you can start planning a life with your HFH (handsome future husband) and everyone is happy for you and excited but there's other stuff that happens. It's best you heard it now so you don't start second guessing whether you've agreed to marry a monster. Ps- Mr. HFH this isn't about you, I love you.

Naturally, the first thing you do is start talking about when to have the wedding? Hmmm. Easy enough, right? Wrong. What if the bride has always imagined a soft summer day in June with peonies and hydrangeas...but the groom is an avid skier and thinks it should be a nighttime ceremony with fluffy snowflakes falling outside the candlelit window? And what if, the groom doesn't want to give in because well....he won't care about the centerpieces, but this? This he cares about. And the bride won't give in because, well, she's the bride and everyone says this day is about her. The only piece of advice we're able to offer here, is that one of you will have to compromise. Maybe he gets a winter wedding, but maybe you get the formal church ceremony. This is the first in a long line of compromises and it's going to set the tone for all the rest of the decisions you're going to make so you'll have to decide if this battle is one you aren't willing to back down for. That being said, deciding how long the engagement will be is usually an easier thing to decide since presumably the couple is on the same page about how quickly they want to be man and wife.

The second issue that comes up is money. Soooo awkward. So the bride's parents have offered to pay for the wedding but haven't told you the actual dollar amount. The groom's parents have shied away from the topic because they're hoping you're going to be one of those couples that "wants to pay for it yourself" and you and your HFH, keep saying that you'd rather buy a house. Ugh. First things first, speak to each set of parents either individually or as a couple, and ask what you have to ask. You're getting married for pete's sake, be mature! A neutral location such as a Tim Horton's is always a great option.
"Mom, Dad thank you for offering to help us with the wedding (god willing). We would like to begin the planning process and wonder if you are able at this point to give us an approximate amount you're willing to spend".
If they say they aren’t able to help, don't freak out. As it gets closer, you'll see people get swept up in the event and want to contribute anything, even if it's a pie for the dessert table. And if they can't/don't want to do anything at all, that's ok too because you know they would if they could.
If they say they don't know, assume they don't have anything and refer to above.
If they say any number at all, jump up, kiss them, hug them and tell them you are so very touched.
Your next step is to sit down and go over budgets. Figure out how much each of you can realistically save during the engagement period while still living. If you're like us, everyone you know has decided to get married at the same time, so don't forget you'll be saving for more than your own wedding. When you have this final number, you might have to re-think the wedding vision you have or the length of the engagement or more importantly, how many people you can invite.

This brings us to the final engagement "reality check". Once you decide when to get married, and how much you will have to spend...you'll need to know how many people you're spending it on. List time! S1's fav!
Well now, this is interesting. My list has 75 people on it and his has 24. Simple answer is that I have to cut down my list, but how do you cut the cousins who come to your birthday parties and graduations? Should my side be penalized for being too numerous? Probably not. The solution to this is that you will have to come up with the money to cover the uneven guests...if family outweigh debt in terms of importance than you might want to consider increasing that line of credit. If you would rather stick pins in your eyes than go into debt for a wedding, consider changing your venue, doing a brunch or cocktail reception, getting married in low season or any night but a Saturday...there are ways to make everything work. Oh, and when he tells you he’s ok with booking a place with cinder blocks and this makes you cry? Remember, this is about compromise so really listen to each other’s visions of the big day and arguments for why this may be important to that person. You can't go wrong.

Next journal entry: Community Centre Vs. Trendy Upscale Restaurant. Discuss.